


Hogsmeade weekend

by jamsiesir (everything)



Series: 50_lovequotes [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/M, Getting Together, Jealous! Lily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24576193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everything/pseuds/jamsiesir
Summary: «... and I'll go to Hogsmeade with James Potter!»Mary McDonald's voice seems to echo through the dorm room as Lily exits the bathroom after getting ready for the night. In the last weeks, there is something that knocks the air out of her lungs whenever James Potter's name is uttered in her presence, only that this time the feeling is awful: she doesn't feel as light as a feather, neither does her face heat up - Lily feels like her entire world is tilted upside-down, like those words have the power to make the Earth spin around its axis in the opposite way.«What?» she asks before she can even think about it.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Series: 50_lovequotes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780588
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	Hogsmeade weekend

**Author's Note:**

> [**anonymous**](https://jamsiesir.tumblr.com/post/620194112556105728/i-think-a-combination-between-4-and-13-will-be) asked: I think a combination between 4 and 13 will be amzinggg for jily  
> Based on this [list of prompts](https://jamsiesir.tumblr.com/post/620102107354251264/prompt-list) taken from 50_lovequotes livejournal community.

Quotes: 

4: _A little jealousy in a relationship is healthy. It's nice to know that someone is afraid to lose you._

13: _I think the worst thing about life would be having to go through it without you._

***

«... and I'll go to Hogsmeade with James Potter!»

Mary McDonald's voice seems to echo through the dorm room as Lily exits the bathroom after getting ready for the night. In the last weeks, there is something that knocks the air out of her lungs whenever James Potter's name is uttered in her presence, only that this time the feeling is awful: she doesn't feel as light as a feather, neither does her face heat up - Lily feels like her entire world is tilted upside-down, like those words have the power to make the Earth spin around its axis in the opposite way.

«What?» she asks before she can even think about it.

Mary (her lovely and adorable friend, Mary) beams at her and nods. «James asked me out at dinner and I said yes,» she says, then lets out a happy sigh.

Her happiness chills Lily's bones, sucking out her own joy - Lily doesn't know if she can pretend to actually be glad for her friend (who's harboured a crush for James for two weeks now - a thing that Lily has been secretly disliking).

«That's beautiful.»

… but she tries it, anyway.

«I've never thought it was possible: I mean, he's so handsome but he seemed to be interested only in you,» her friend goes on and Lily just nods, suddenly not really in the mood for talking.

«It's such a pity that his love is unrequited, isn't it?» Marlene asks and the question feels like a punch in her gut: Lily turns to look at the girl in the eyes, and finds amusement twinkling in them. She looks hastily away and goes to bed, feeling like she is being chased down by a vicious dragon. 

Sometimes we learn things about ourselves that we don't actually like to see: that night, as she listens behind her closed curtains Mary worrying about her outfit, Lily finds out that she is an awful friend.

***

«So - James and Mary.»

Lily is surprised to hear her own voice saying those words: she was only thinking about them, she doesn't want to speak about it. Remus raises his eyes from his Defence against the dark arts' essay to watch her: green meets green and Lily is almost too embarrassed to go on.

«Mary said that James asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him,» she explains, hoping not to sound too put out about the whole thing.

«Did she?» her friend asks, dipping his quill into the ink and beginning to write again.

Lily presses her lips together, ignoring her Potion's essay - she wants… Merlin, she doesn't even know what she wants out of this conversation.

«She was really happy,» she tells him after a long quiet moment.

Remus' mouth twitches and Lily can't help but notice he is suppressing a chuckle. «James was too,» he tells her. «He was very glad she said yes.»

_ He was very glad _ \- Lily loses her breath again as acid goes up to her throat from her stomach. She swallows it down again. 

_ He was very glad _ \- is he still very glad? Would he be happier if she… 

Lily shakes her head, suppressing that thought. «I didn’t think James was  _ that _ type of friend - I mean, didn’t you have a crush on Mary in first year?»

Remus puts down the quill and raises an eyebrow, giving her a look that makes her feel chastised - her voice is perhaps too hateful as she says it. «Lily,» he starts, clasping his hands together. «as much as I’d like to believe that you’re trying to defend the honour of my eleven-year-old self, somehow I don’t think it would make you feel better if I said that James asked my permission to ask her out- something that he didn’t do, mind you, because Mary is her own person and because…  _ really _ , a crush that lasts five days hardly counts,» she opens her mouth to speak, but Remus stops her. «You know, James is trying to leave you alone just like you asked him to do since the Sorting - he knows the only thing you will offer him is this strange kind of friendship you two have right now,» her heart hurts as she listens to his words, trying to figure out why her own body is protesting against them. Remus seems to notice, because he says: «And if he is wrong about it, he will never know if you don't tell him.»

«He isn't,» Lily says, before she can stop herself. «I like being friends with him - he is everything you ever told me he was,» she confesses, remembering every time in the past Remus has defended James against her harsh words. «It’s just  _ that  _ \- »  _ what _ ? His love may not be so unrequited now? Mary isn't the only one with a crush on stupid James Potter? «- Mary is my friend too.»

The way Remus observes her lets Lily know he may have guessed her inner debate. «It’s just a date,» he says with one of his  _ Prefect's voices _ \- the one he uses to reassure a scared first year. «They won't get married because they are going to go to Hogsmeade together.»

It's not that, for Merlin's sakes, it's just that - «I know.» 

«- and James won't do anything that might hurt Mary. »

She doesn't even worry about it, she is just thinking about - «I  _ know _ .»

Remus sighs and shakes his head at her, resuming his writing. Lily notices how his lips are pressed into a thin line, as if he is trying to decide whether or not saying something. «Lily,» and, again, their eyes meet. «Don't tell James I told you this,» he begins and Lily swears it, now more curious than ever. «You're still the only girl he talks about.»

Lily shouldn't feel this happy - she shouldn't - but her mouth is stretched in a sincere smile and her face is burning. 

***

Even if Remus' words calm her down a little, Lily avoids James in the days that precede the Hogsmeade’s trip. She doesn’t want to spend time with him, knowing that the very idea he could be interested in someone who isn’t here is making her miserable. Her mother always says  _ you don’t know you love someone until you lose them _ and this is the first time Lily actually understands those words. Still, she feels guilty whenever she needs to give him excuses as she attempts not to be in the same place with him, and she misses James terribly during the nightly patrols that Head Boy and Head Girl should do together.

The Hogsmeade weekend comes too quickly and, at the same time, way too slow and Lily feels like a right mess. Mary is already awake when Lily climbs down the bed and she is so pretty and excited that the muggleborn witch can’t help but smile at her chatter. Her stomach is churning as she brushes her hair and adjusts her uniform - the Head Girl pin seems to be slightly crooked everytime she watches herself in the mirror. 

«James» Mary calls out when Lily, Marlene, Dorcas and her enter the Gryffindor Common Room. «how are you?»

How is he? Lily asks herself watching him: James is unfairly handsome in his stupid uniform and the way he cards his hand in his own hair looking embarrassed is stupidly enticing. Lily has to actually shut her inner voice up about the state of his hair because -  _ Merlin _ , James’ hazel eyes find her green ones for just a moment and Lily’s heartbeat is speeding up.

«Seeing something you like, Evans?» Sirius Black’s voice is like a bucket full of cold water right on her head. 

«Good morning to you too, Black.»

He waves his hand, like he is dismissing her greeting. «Our Jamsie looks particularly handsome today, doesn’t he?»

«Why? Are you fearing that someone could steal him away from you when you’re not watching?»

Sirius’ grey eyes study her face, then he smirks. «Nah,» he says. «I’m just making sure you know that someone is attempting to take him away from  _ you _ while you  _ are _ watching» then, he nods towards Mary, who is clinging to Potter’s arm as they speak.

Lily bites her bottom lip, her eyes pointed on the floor for a moment, then she fakes a smile and looks at Black. «I have a meeting with Professor McGonagall, tell Remus I’ll wait for him before going to Tomes and Scrolls» and with that, she is out of the room.

***

James Potter is an arrogant toerag, a prick, a stupid git, an idiot and a complete asshole.

James Potter is handsome, funny, easygoing, unexpectedly kind and one of the most brilliant students in their year.

James Potter is hot and an amazing Quidditch player.

James Potter is sitting at one of Madam Puddifoot’s tables with Mary McDonald, smiling at her and making her laugh and Lily feels like crying.

She bites her lip and tries to calm down her laboured breath as she looks at the Shrieking Shack with stinging eyes - Lily shouldn’t be there alone, she should be in the village, offering help to younger students, looking out for them. However, the thought of witnessing James' and Mary's date makes her want to go back to the castle and lock herself up in her dorm room. 

«You know, you shouldn’t be this close to this place - people say it's haunted.» 

Lily's eyes widen and she wipes her cheeks as  _ stupidly perfect James Potter _ appears at her side. Even his voice sounds attractive to her and -  _ dear Morgana _ \- Lily hates having a crush on James  _ idiot _ Potter. 

She takes a deep breath, then turns to look at him - still unfairly handsome, fuck. «You're supposed to be on a date.»

«You are avoiding me» James says, instead. «I thought we were past this point - you've been talking to me for the last two months.»

«Where is Mary?»

«Things were great between us, weren't they? We talked, spent time together - do you know doing nightly patrols with you makes them bearable? I was stuck with Cain -  _ Cain _ , Lily. He is more conceited than Sirius and I mixed together!»

Lily hides a laugh. «Pretty much conceited then» she replies, trying not to feel either guilty or flattered because of his words. «James, really, why aren't you with Mary?»

The wizard sighs. «Mary and I both agree we are better off as friends» he answers. «It’s okay because I asked her out without expecting anything.»

«Mary likes you.»

«She doesn't really  _ like _ me - an entire day with me was enough to make her crush go away» James shrugs. «I don't know what it says about me, but I'm not complaining.»

«You asked her out.»

«Because I thought it would have been nice - I mean, even Remus thought she was pretty in those five days of first year.»

«Mary is pretty, and funny, and kind, and - »

«Lily, do you want me to date her?» James asks, a bit confused. 

«James, you asked  _ her _ out.»

«Yes, I was there when I did.»

Lily sighs and, for a moment, she really doesn't want to look at him. «After  _ three _ years of asking  _ me _ out, you go and -  _ and _ …» she lets out a frustrated sound.  _ Merlin _ , she just wants to go to bed and hide from the world. 

James seems to be out of breath when Lily looks at him again and his hazel eyes twinkle with something that could possibly be realization. «Lily, why have you been avoiding me these past days?» he asks again, voice slightly hoarse. 

_ Because I like you, because being wrong about you feels like the best thing that has ever happened to me - and I found out I was a witch at eleven year old.  _

_ Because I love spending time with you, talking with you, laughing with you.  _

_ Because of the way you fight against prejudice - because I saw you comforting a muggleborn first year after a group of Slytherins threatened to hurt him even though he is just a child.  _

_ Because you are brave and chivalrous, but also stupid and annoying.  _

_ Because -  _

«Lily, did you want me to ask you out?»

_ Yes, yes, yes. You stupid git, yes.  _

«I feel stupid asking this, but Lily Evans - »  _ because -  _ «- were you jealous of Mary McDonald because you fancy me?»

Lily swallows down and looks at the Shrieking Shack, hugging herself to get some courage. «The last few days have been awful - I missed you too» she tells him, feeling her eyes burn again. «I missed you but I couldn't -  _ you _ asked  _ Mary _ , James. You asked my friend Mary out, I couldn't spend time with you knowing that you wanted to date her» her throat hurts. «I didn't want to -» Lily finally looks at him, biting her lip. «I avoided you and Mary, I was miserable, I spent so much time with Professor Slughorn and Madam Pince that I could as well be their bloody lovechild» James' mouth stretches into a smile. «So tell me, James Potter: did I want you to ask me out? Was I jealous because I fancy you?»

James is beaming at her - his smile is blinding and Lily actually asks how can he still see while doing so. Wouldn't it fog his glasses? 

«I dare say yes, Lily Evans, you fancy the pants out of me.»

Lily shakes her head, failing in suppressing a sob - James hesitates a bit before hugging her. «You're so annoying» she says, as she lets him comfort her. «Why do I have to fancy you?»

«I'm not that bad, you know?» James replies, holding her. «I still don't know how a fellyfont works, but - »

«Telephone» Lily corrects him, sniffing. 

«- and I fancy you too, if you didn't get the notice for the past four - five years.»

Lily snorts and hugs him too. « _ Seven years _ \- you've been fancying me for the past seven years.»

«So you  _ did  _ notice.»

«You fought with the Giant Squid for my hand, Potter - you weren't exactly subtle about it.»

James laughs, a bit self-deprecatingly and puts his lips on her head, without kissing it. «What can I say? I like putting on a show.»

Lily smiles and looks up at him - they stare at each other, breathing quietly together while talking without words. «James» Lily says, and the wizard's hand caresses one of her cheeks. 

«Uh?»

«I fancy you - would you like to spend the rest of the day with me?»

«Are you asking me out, Evans?»

«I dare say that I am, Potter.»

**Author's Note:**

> It's short and silly, but I hope you liked reading it.


End file.
